Bawful After Dark: December 28, 2010

Paul Westphal fires up the Invisible Lawnmower. Finally, an explanation for Suckramento's ineptitude -- his players must be tripping over invisible grass
Anyone else just absolutely getting his/her ass kicked by a post-Christmas lull? I can't even blame alcohol since I didn't drink (though that may change tonight when I go to my bowling league). I'm just burned out and feel empty inside. It's kind of like being the 12th man on the Purple Paupers' bench.

Via 30fps, behold this epic moment of soccer man love:

Soccerawful Footbawful?

Worst of the Night in Pictures:

Two great moments in awkward man love history

Nationally Televised Games:
Lakers at Spurs, NBA TV, 8:30pm: Someone wanna go check the Lakers' alarm clocks? They never woke up for the Christmas game, and as far as I know, they might still be in a tryptophan coma.

All The Other Games:
Magic at Cavaliers, 7pm: The Cavs are putting up unreal numbers. They've managed to shoot 41.0% from the field in December. Brick factories everywhere are envious.

Celtics at Pacers, 7pm: Can we just get Rajon Rondo out on the floor with a pair of crutches or something? It'd be a step up from Nate Robinson.

Knicks at Heat, 7:30pm: Yes, the Heat's schedule self-corrected a little recently and they got to play some softer competition, but even considering that their defensive effort the last few weeks has been impressive. They've only allowed 86.7 points per game over the last 15 games. Damn.

Bucks at Bulls, 8pm: I'm convinced that this year's Bucks team is offended by offense.

Craptors at Mavericks, 8:30pm: Dirk's out for this game and listed as day-to-day with a minor knee sprain. Nooooooooooo! (insert dramatic music sting)

Frail Blazers at Nuggets, 9pm: Good to see Carmelo's planning on being back on the court tonight.

Bawful After Dark: December 21, 2010

The realization that his team is godawful was very sudden, and very disturbing for poor Monta Ellis
Here's a must-see from Kelly Dwyer on Ball Don't Lie: how Rajon Rondo and Brandon Jennings are rehabilitating. See? Professional athletes aren't so different from the rest of us! They also sit! They just do it, you know, to play a racing arcade game in their damn house, or watch three TVs at once.

Also, solid piece from the Washington Post on Gilbert Arenas and his tired act.

And quickly, I did receive a quick response from Marc Stein about the Frail Blazers nickname thing I mentioned last night: "Will write that somewhere when opening arises". So there you go. I have no idea if we coined the nickname or not (it's so obvious that I doubt it), but it's certainly been around for awhile.

Worst of the Night in Pictures:

"I made Gilbert cry! Mission accomplished."

So delightfully awkward

Someone go tell Rambis he isn't at an Atlanta Braves game

Huh. I figured it would take more than one game for Vince Carter to drive Steve Nash to madness

Nationally Televised Games:
Mavericks at Magic, NBA TV, 7pm: Dallas has won its last four games in Orlando, the Magic are in a slump, and they now have Hedo and Gilbert Arenas. I do not feel particularly optimistic about Orlando's chances tonight...

All The Other Games:
Thunder at Bobcraps, 7pm: The Thunder don't want to lose two consecutive games, and they get to face an offense that's nearly as terrible as Milwaukee's. Not to mention the Bobcraps aren't feeling terribly good about themselves. Per Stephen Jackson: "We're just terrible on all cylinders." Well, there's your problem, Captain Jack. You're a basketball team, not a car! Silly Bobcraps...

76ers at Bulls, 8pm: It's official: ESPN.com has referred to the Sixers as "surging." That is, of course, code for "sucking less than usual."

Nyets at Grizzlies, 8pm: The poor Nyets are about to play 10 of 13 on the road. I'm sure this will go well. Don't waste your time watching this game. You'll get a better sports viewing fix by watching the Lorchcast:

I think I've posted this here before, but the Lorchcast is worth another viewing
Warriors at Kings, 10pm: The Purple Paupers -- winners of five (5!) games this season -- are favored 66% to 34% in this game according to AccuScore computer simulations. Ladies and gentlemen, the Golden State Warriors!

Bucks at Lakers, 10:30pm: The Lakers like to beat up on bad teams. The Bucks are missing Brandon Jennings, Carlos Delfino, and Corey Maggette. I fully expect this game to look something like this:

Bawful After Dark: December 9, 2010

Hey Kuester, shouldn't you be coaching instead of eating an invisible sandwich during timeouts?
Suckramento assistant coach Mario Elie has been arrested for carrying on the tradition of getting arrested for drunken driving. George Maloof Jr, Antoine Wright, Andres Nocioni, and Eric Musselman must be proud. (h/t Chris)

Via Deadspin, here is a video of Antoine Walker airballing a free throw in his NBA D-League debut last night.


Good ol' Antoine. It's like he never left our lives...

Worst of the Night in Pictures:
"You're weirdin' me out, Durant"

Speaking of awkward...

Keith Smart must have watched his Warriors play

Blake Griffin may be awesome, but this picture still summarizes the Clippers organization

Holy crap, this is almost as bad as yesterday's Yao/Knee-Mac man hug

Nationally Televised Games:
Celtics at 76ers, TNT, 8pm: The Sixers have won five in a row at home, but that's a bit of fool's gold. The closest thing to real competition they've seen in that stretch is a low-scoring grind against the Frail Blazers. They're like a poor man's version of the Knicks, and that is just truly sad because the Knicks are already the poor man's version of a mediocre to decent basketball team.

Also, three words (or one big hyphenated word): Shaq-A-Claus.

Magic at Frail Blazers, TNT, 10:30pm: Stat of the day: Vinsanity put up an amazing 2-for-21 shooting performance against the Blazers last season. I dread the day Vinsanity retires -- this blog will be deprived of so much content.

All The Other Games:
Nyets at Mavericks, 8:30pm: You know, the Nyets aren't as soul-crushingly horrible as last year. They are still, however, at least soul-bruisingly horrible.