Thursday, August 12, 2010

This Week, in Kardashian Tabloid News: Kim is Single! The Sisters are Torn Apart!

We can at least say the following about this week's Kardashian tabloid coverage:
It doesn't only feature Kim in a bikini.

It does, however, focus on exaggerations and lies surrounding the world's least talented, most photographed family.

First, Life & Style quotes Kim and claims she has broken up with Miles Austin and is now SINGLE AGAIN.

Referring to the fifth season of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, the busty reality star tells the magazine: "I think this is the first time I've ever really been single filming the show. You'll see me single and having a good time."

There's just one problem with this supposed exclusive...

SheTorn Apart!

... Keeping Up with the Kardashians was filmed MONTHS ago. In the new trailer for it, we see a single Kim meeting and dating Austin. Nice try, though, Life & Style!

Us Weekly, meanwhile, breaks the news that Kourtney, Khloe and Kim are TORN APART due to Kourtney's relationship with Scott Disick. However, Kris Jenner, Scott's main critic, recently gave the loser a stamp of approval.

Look, tabloids of the world. These siblings waste enough of our time by pimping themselves out and sharing every nugget of their lives with the public. Must you really give them even more attention than they already have?

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